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E RODES 2021 ¬ This is not Disposable

by E RODES

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1.
gone to cornwall yes I belong to him
2.
For my sister Amparo Maria Is it a question of faith? One lie looks like any other It's either truth or it isn't safe The mind is big, it's a lonely place Amparo Maria Is it a question of pace? My door can't hold for much longer Looks matter most when you're out of breath Limp in the leg and cold in the face Amparo Maria Was it a question of fate? For some the ride's a lot smoother So what if there's a trick to escape yourself Then run out in the light and join the parade Amparo Maria
3.
Eyes across the fire Warm velveteen soft to the touch Fever sings what no-one ever wants to hear at first Elemental heat flashes from you Always a craver For all that's whole and full It singes tips of fingers It means to speak Power to Truth It wants to walk in nameless And take us both out for a tour Of warrens and heather, of muddy boots and common yews And have another, one in another too Witching hour Waltzing stomach and the pull Of dancing fire the candle burns right through its fuel Nowhere safer, senses on a shifting floor Make another journey through the Killing Moors Bite through feathers For the milky flesh and bloody mess below the waist Crush resistance and explore
4.
5.
Is there anything left to show? I don't care, I don't know September came and went Summer in tow And left us shaken at the cost of it all Somewhere over the hills and plains of yore Reigns a sweetness bound to no oath Is there anyplace left to go? I don't care, I don't know We met on mountaintops Before the Plague showed And lost us all with no moss to find North Somewhere over the hills and plains of yore Reigns a sweetness bound to no oath I don't care I don't know If there's anyway for us to make it back in time for more More rain-swept hills and plains of yore
6.
7.
You'll never get away Others will but you won't get away Watch as we disappear You don't have what it takes Some do but you don't have what it takes Watch as we disappear We the sane and the brave We the ones born to play We don't want it and yet Away we go Up or down, east or west Not the how nor the where Matter much to us as Away we go You cannot get ahead Most can but you cannot get ahead Watch as we disappear With a spring in our step At a quickening pace With undoubtable grace Away we go Up or down, east or west Not the how nor the where Matter much to us as Away we go
8.
9.
Deirdre She has some R tistry But sadly no memory Of it is she is supposed to be Deirdre Had one epiphany Threw loved ones in the sea Cold-hearted? Not for me to say, you see The girl knows 1-2-3 we waltz on Honey! Pack yr shit up Walk and no refund The girl is free to run away Deirdre Sweet sun & harmony Come whole and full and fancy free That's who you are supposed to be
10.
So much of all this is simple battles In a wider war waged on the sentimental Unsuspecting sort There is control, and then there's control Fire on those who stay home Against the cursed small things full and whole In a wider world staged for the sentimental Unsuspecting us There are censors and there is control Fire on those who stay home
11.
Green all around me I came to with a start and a wonder The very fabric of nature has a note at its heart The key doesn't matter, nor does the melody It's a pitch with a pulse, it's a tone in my ear It's a flask at my hip, it's a river at my feet
12.
Il ne faut pas tomber Call it never once or twice Et si tu dois tomber Make it so you won't react They will send us away Out of mind + out of sight I don't know these children They weren't there when I moved out Fleeting scraps of pensée Bombing weddings when you're high Straighten your tie Sonny Or they'll see you're no friend of mine Et comme s'il nous fallait Lend any credence to their plight
13.
Soon you’ll say how we never do anything together anymore Ah see What you don’t know yet is I’ve booked us on a canoe retreat in the summer I did not want to go Also you don’t like water Yet here we are Now full like I haven’t felt in all my years as a labourer My craft it’s hewn from a single oak by Iron Age revivalist campaigners And now I don’t want to go Your thinkings don’t hold water When yes then no Don’t feel like you have to go drown yourself in what her tides run when low Don’t feel like you have to go drown yourself in what her tides run when low
14.
For Marie Old, blind, I'm not he who finds gold and silver beneath the sea Still, fortune found me In her wake a smoke of memories Song of love, I don't know? I may be a fool Row, row, have no fear We have weathered far worse storms and stronger wind Song of love, I don't know? I may be a fool But it's the least I could do for you
15.
Raise a finger, point it to the stars And the non-Euclidean plane of the night sky Show 2 lines meet always not sometimes Show your working out, end it with a clear-eyed summation So one knows it emerged in isolation I’ve found myself, I was right there all along Just round the corner from a certain nowhere It has been years and miles Of near-misses and solitary trials in oscillations And though I may have strayed as far as isolation I’ve reasoned myself out from isolation So take me home Just know it emerges in isolation We owe it all to chance and isolation Orphan idioms and isolation And though I may have gone too far with isolation I’ve reasoned myself out from isolation So take me home
16.
Legislate away the strain and be prepared: All is fine and discomfort will come in bounding waves Wager on it making it to end-of-play today All is fine and meaning comes to those who stayed and played
17.
We go to parties Your neighbour's parties The summer's here and the days are long The night so warm you can't be alone Sing a song to the end of time Down in one, what is yours is mine Rev'd up, socks off and ready to grind We go to parties Your neighbour's parties We'll juice the evening and we'll seed the ground Hold on one another as we stand We'll sing a song to the end of time We'll postulate, we will prose and rhyme There's no way you're getting sleep tonight Shake down, wake up, we go to parties We go to parties Your neighbour's parties Sins of the father, duties of the son Meting out the noise, doling out the sound Sing a song to the end of time Down in one, what is yours is mine Rev'd up, socks and ready to grind Postulate, shout, prose and rhyme There's no way you're getting sleep tonight Shake down! We go to your neighbour's parties
18.
So goes the tale / the rumour Old codes hold one like a father And they say "what of the trail of paperwork and old souls" White pebbles on the terracotta floor Mild terror on the morning after Seeing that a moment was enough To transform all and oh! to father But smile once on a baby And old codes melt fast and completely And sorrow finds other burrows Wherefrom it metastasises in year-end shows Slowly ebbs and slowly flows In cavities where sorrow has never ebbed and never flowed Goes and makes it home, wherein it sets out to root And fester So goes the lowdown, the wisdom It's all bull, most of it is I know A narrow sense of the weight, the purpose I'll carry high and low Oh! to father
19.
Whistles in my ear Both imaginary and real As soothing as they scare me Immaterial and thin They're a falsehood not a lie A disgrace if not a crime And the rolling hills roll on and thunder awaits Where would I end up if not lead by you Found if not discovered An ascent if not a climb But whole if not entire And erect if not upright A joke if not a farce Just a look if not an eye And the rolling hills roll on and thunder awaits We knew there'd be some words and that we'd lie too But where would we end up if not lead by you Numbness if not absence Corporeal and ghostly In a quarrel not a row After prey if not quarry There are real and non-existent whistles in my ear And the rolling hills roll on and thunder awaits We knew there'd be some words and that we'd lie too But where would we end up if not lead by you

about

The sum total of the first year of E RODES. I think it went alright, so I will make more x

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released September 21, 2021

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E RODES Brighton, UK

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